Wednesday, February 4, 2009

thaw

These are the daffodils coming up in my flower beds. Spring is on it's way, although there is still snow on the ground and the temperature hovers in the 40's during the day. But slowly, and gradually, the earth is beginning to thaw and things are coming back to life.

I have felt that way recently. Thawing. It is true, the meds do seem to be helping. But my life still feels chaotic and overwhelming. I am trying to gain a little more control, piece by piece, slowly and gradually. This blog sometimes has to fall by the wayside as I reprioritize and simplify and try to find ways to bring more peace to my life - and help my little boy.

Some things I have been doing lately are I signed up for an 8 week parent education from the CHADD organization (Children and Adults with ADHD) to get more info to help my son. We are considering medication to calm him down when necessary. But as I know from my own experience with SSRI's, there are always pros and cons, risks and benefits. And he is only 4. It is a tough decision to make - and one we don't make lightly.

I have also started participating in a 7-week Depression seminar offered through a local university based on this book: Has anyone else heard of this, read it, tried the program or anything? I went to the first seminar this past week, and there are lots of ideas to try to implement, which is somewhat overwhelming to me right now. Maybe if I get a chance, I will post some of the things I am learning from this class.
Anyway - I am taking both the Wellbutrin and Paxil and not having any noticable side effects right now, which is very nice. I feel a lot more hopeful, even though some days are still tough. And that is good. I am still quite sleepy in the afternoons, and I would love to see the day when I don't feel like I need a nap!! But I have been able to get some housework done. I was even dancing around to some music one evening while we were making dinner, and my husband remarked that he hasn't seen me that "peppy" in many years.
I know the meds aren't a miracle cure. But I'm not sure I believe that they only mask the symptoms of depression either. I think that in some cases, it truly can correct a biological deficiency in the brain. I am very happy to have an option that allows a lot of people to feel even well enough to attempt to make all these other changes that can aid their recovery. Meds can bring someone up to the level where they can live again. Sometimes that is the essential key.
So, sorry I haven't been posting here. I may continue to be sporadic in the future, as well. But I am still reading other blogs and gaining from your experiences and insights, even though you may not know it. :)
And from time to time, you will hear from me on here. I just need to take things as they come for a little while. Try to get some things in order. And wait for Spring.

2 comments:

phd in yogurtry said...

Have not read the book, Way Out. I'd be interested in hearing some of the recommendations from the seminars.

I used to take Paxil. At first I loved it, then it made me sleepy. Like, put head down on work desk in middle of the day and snore, sleepy. This was so unlike me, the person who can't take a nap if it kills me. So I eventually switched. But I never got that same "ahh, feel good" feeling that I had on the Paxil. I still wonder, what would have been wrong with lowering my dose instead of switching.

Have taken Wellbutrin also. Very, very happy with it. Again, it didn't give me that "all is well" feeling like Paxil, but it helped me at that time with my very low motivation. And no side effects. Zip, zip, zippo. I would gladly take it again, should my depression rear it's head again.

Frank said...

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