But dear little Squirt just becomes more and more hyper and wound up the more overtired he becomes and so we could not get him to settle down no matter what we tried. Zig ended up taking him to the car and strapping him in his carseat so he would stop moving (have I mentioned Squirt has some sensory issues and behavior problems - um, yeah - he does). And I was left alone in the tent with Munchkin and SweetPea on the air mattress with me. Which meant that I kept getting kicked and pushed to the very edge where the air pressure wasn't very good. And I was irrationally terrified of bears coming to attack us (it has happened in our area - although rare, it does happen). So I couldn't sleep. And I didn't even have a flashlight in the tent. And Arty kept waking up and walking around the tent in a daze, mumbling sleepily, and I was afraid that he would get confused and pee in a corner or something. And then around 3 or so, the temp dropped drastically and I was worried Sweetpea was going to get cold. So I crawled around the tent feeling around for another sleeping bag to throw over us (we were sharing just a blanket since it wasn't that cold when we started the whole "going to bed" idea). And I cried. Because I was tired. And I knew I was going to have to admit defeat (we had paid for 2 nights at the campground, and I knew we were going to end up leaving before then). And I didn't understand why other people can take their families camping and have fun and why every single fun thing I try to do ends up in disaster. And I felt sorry for myself. And so tired. I think I got about an hour of sleep total.
The next morning we went for a small hike. Sweetpea fell down and scraped her knee. Squirt tripped over a tree branch and scratched his arm. And we were all so sleep-deprived and grumpy, we came back to the campsite, packed up, and left for home. With more tears from the backseat about "why can't we stay? why do we have to go home?" etc.
So, in my family-oriented blog, I tried to be more positive because I get tired of sounding like I complain all the time and blah blah blah. But over here in this blog, I feel no such inhibitions and I can be as negative as I feel like! (that's what you would expect from a depression blog, right?)
So. We will not be going camping again for a long long while.
But at least we took some nice pictures.
2 comments:
I'm glad you can be open about how you feel here. I think anyone would be crying if they were as sleep deprived as it sounds you were. From the pics, despite the dificulties the world around you looks beautiful. At least you took a chance and went camping. That is a big thing.
Thanks, Aqua.
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